Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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