awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
