apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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