He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
