Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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