i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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