at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
