I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
