do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
