somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
