Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
