i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
