we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
