called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
