I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
smell my finger.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
