How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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