but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
