How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Be still, my beating vagina.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
