How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
