I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
