those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
