I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
