Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
