Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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