I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
