I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why are your pants in the freezer?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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