i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
