You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Randomize
