PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
