A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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