he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize