my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
