i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
