what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
