I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
