o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The beers last night were like the tears from god
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's rum buckets o'clock
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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