I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
