I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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