I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
