I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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