If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
