woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
