the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
