Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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