Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
