We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So much rum. So many feels.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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