We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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