im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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