My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
