she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
